


a battery-run type of love

by hyuckithmelon



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (hints of) Jealousy, Angst, Author Apologizes to Bokuto, Author Is Sleep Deprived, M/M, Unrequited Love, onigiri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:55:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27386056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyuckithmelon/pseuds/hyuckithmelon
Summary: Bokuto was sure of his feelings and having it reciprocated. (Keyword: was)
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	a battery-run type of love

**_confidence — level 100_ **

When Bokuto found out his unsurprisingly huge crush on the vice-captain of his volleyball club, he believes all he has to do is wait for the right moment.

Sure, he freaked out like the utterly bisexual mess he is because, _surprise,_ Bokuto hasn’t gone through one of the so-called crises in approximately two weeks. (This is a new record, helpless bisexuals take notes.) So when Bokuto found himself lost in Akaashi’s eyes in a non-homiesexual way, he realized, yeah, maybe he’s a little fucked. And yeah, maybe he’s a little bit in love.

It seemed so natural too, meeting Akaashi when he was in his second year, a wing spiker and a setter. Love at first sound, cliché enough. It slowly grew over time, and the fact Bokuto only realized them now felt a bit idiotic. He smiled to himself, at least he’s aware of them now.

“Akaamshi! D’ya wanna go and get some onigiri with me after practice?” Bokuto called out. It wasn’t his _direct_ way of asking him out, it’s just supposed to be a hang out between two best friends. Maybe they’ll be responsible and do their homework, or maybe they could sneak a little hand-holding underneath the table—

“Sorry Bokuto-san, I have a project I’m working on. I can’t really work on it with you there.”

_Oh._ Bokuto’s face turned into one that represented a small sad smiley face.

“That’s fine, ‘Kaashi! You always put your all into your projects, so I know you’ll do great! Let’s get onigiri some other time then!!!” Bokuto said back, trying to keep up the cheeriness in his voice. 

Though he was slightly dejected at the fact Akaashi was busy with more school work, Bokuto decides he’ll go and get some meat buns instead. Onigiri hang outs are always dedicated for a time between him and Akaashi.

It was their little special time to themselves, of course.

It felt magical, ethereal almost just to walk around the streets of Tokyo and go to different onigiri shops with Akaashi by his side. Sometimes in the warm darkness of 7:46 PM made Bokuto want to kiss Akaashi.

_In time,_ Bokuto tells himself, _in a bit of time, I’ll be able to do just that with Akaashi!_

_Just wait for me, is all I ask._

  
  
  
  


**_confidence — level 89_ **

It was weird. 

At first, it was an “oh okay, you have schoolwork you need to do, I’ll leave you to it!” and then it went to, “again… we’ve barely hung out, outside of practice or school.” Bokuto and Akaashi were attached to the hip almost throughout school hours. However, Akaashi seemed to be wanting more and more space away from him.

“Hey, hey say ‘Kaashi… Did I do something wrong?”

“No..?” Akaashi’s response came almost like a question, Bokuto did his best not to frown. “It’s not even midterm season and you’re already so busy… I just thought I did something wrong or something to make you mad.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Bokuto-san. I really am busy, I’ve actually been working on a project with Kozume and one of the Miya’s.” Bokuto’s eyes widened as he turned to look at Akaashi. The Miya twins were in _Hyogo_ out of all the places in the world.

“You’re in contact with one of the Miya twins?!”

“Yes, Bokuto-san. I’ll try to free up my schedule though, we still have to go to the new onigiri shop that opened up near Daiso.” Akaashi said with a small smile.

Bokuto beamed, _right,_ they still have their not-date for onigiri. Even if it’s been delayed for a few weeks, he can wait for Akaashi.

He’ll always be waiting for him.

**_confidence — level 48_ **

It’s been a month since Akaashi told him he’d “try to free up space” in his schedule. Though that makes it at least a month and a half since Bokuto last asked him if he has time to do it. 

Normally what Bokuto would do is pester Akaashi about it and make time for him, but this time, he took a step back. The more he spent thinking about it, there was a growing doubt slowly clouding his mind.

The what-ifs, the maybes, the possibilities. 

Just what if Akaashi didn’t feel the same as him? What if Bokuto was over-thinking it? What if Akaashi liked someone else that wasn’t him? What if Akaashi was already dating someone and that’s why he didn’t have time for him? Maybe he just didn’t have a chance—

Bokuto slapped his face, he has _no time_ to be sulking over the possibilities. This was too much for him to handle. Besides, nothing was confirmed yet right? He can’t exacerbate the problem. (He learned that word from Akaashi, he thinks he used it correctly.) 

He sits on his bed, opening up his messages to Akaashi. They rarely talked to each other via text, Bokuto would normally call Akaashi and he’d answer. With his heart pounding thinking about Akaashi’s beautiful face and personality, he sends a small _good night akaashi :DD_ and waits for a reply.

Waiting for just even the little “delivered” to turn into “read at ____” was tiring enough that Bokuto fell asleep, never waking up from a buzz telling him a reciprocated _good night_ as well.

  
  
  
  


**_confidence — level 23_ **

Any confidence or hope Bokuto had being with Akaashi dwindled over the next six months. 

Exam season came and went, Bokuto and Akaashi were not necessarily “attached to the hip” anymore. They saw each other when they could, Bokuto would smile at Akaashi but only getting a small nod. Yeah, you could say they were friends, but it really felt more like acquaintances to be honest. Graduation was nearing soon for him too.

There was never the right moment for Bokuto to simply, straight-forwardly tell him. It always, always something among the lines of:

“I’m busy.”

“I’ve got homework for Algebra 2.”

“I’m working on a project.”

Eventually, the only times Bokuto asked Akaashi to go out with him was all for team-related things. But as nationals ended, and his highschool career ended, he decided to bid his goodbye to the Fukurodani Boys’ Volleyball club.

“It was fun being your guys’ captain this year! But seriously, I’m excited to see you guys at nationals next year! I’ll be there in the stands cheering for you, so I know Akaashi’s gonna get you there just fine.” He sends a smile to Akaashi who’s standing right next to him. Even if they weren’t as close, the lingering sliver of hope he’ll get a chance is still there. 

It was after when all the 3rd years made their official departure when Bokuto went up to Akaashi. “‘Kaashi… I know it’s been a while, but are you still up for going to get some onigiri with me?” He tried to keep up a happy face, but he prepared himself for the rejection. Akaashi smiled at him, “It has been a while since we last went to get onigiri together. Do you still want to go to that place we’ve been meaning to go to?”

Bokuto’s eyes lit up. Maybe there was a chance. And within just a few hours their dynamic was back to normal. No awkwardness, no ignoring, they were back to normal. Back when everyone knew, _if you’re looking for Bokuto, look for Akaashi._

“I’ve been dying to go to this onigiri shop, Akaashi! I think you’d want to really go here too, right?” Akaashi sent him a small apologetic smile, “Actually, when Osamu visited, we’d gone here together. I’ve been helping him out as he’s wanting to open up his own onigiri shop.” Bokuto momentarily stops as he feels his heart pummel downwards. His appetite has diminished in the seconds Akaashi had told him he’d already been here. And he’d been here with someone else.

**_confidence — level 0_ **

Bokuto swallowed the feeling, “o-oh, is that so?” Akaashi seemed to glow at the thought of helping out Osamu with his onigiri shop. (Even if Bokuto felt like wilting and decaying at the thought of that.) It was supposed to be their thing, he couldn’t help but feel the twisting, clenching of his heart as Akaashi goes on. They continued to talk as normal, but Bokuto felt the gnawing feeling of losing pounding harder and harder at the back of his head.

He lost. He lost despite him giving his best. He lost something he thought was special. He lost something he’d cradle dearly.

When Akaashi said goodbye to Bokuto, Bokuto kept on his smile. He couldn’t lose Akaashi smiling at him just yet. Bokuto Koutarou was defeated in the game of love, and he was holding close the only thing similar to comfort, even if that bad to also a double-edged sword.

He waited too long for no reason.

**Author's Note:**

> barks
> 
> SO !!! basically this was for HQ Angst Week day 3 and it's hella late i know that pls do not go for my head. i was Supposed to post this yesterday but . i wasn't in the mood lol so yeah i hurt bokuto this time around. i made sure to apologize tho giggles
> 
> twitter: koutaroism


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